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A little older lady gets pulled over for speeding…

LOL: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

LOL: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

LOL: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

LOL: No, I lost it 2 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see….Can I see your vehicle registration   papers please.

LOL: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

LOL: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

LOL: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

LOL: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk   if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car. He puts in a frantic call for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, step out of your car right now! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

LOL: Is there a problem officers?

Officer 2: My officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

OldLadyShocked

LOL: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, open the trunk of your car.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

LOL: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver’s license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

LOL: I’ll bet that officer told you that I was speeding.

Don’t mess with little old ladies!  Gesturing Nun

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