we think too much and we feel too little

Tags

feelings, human needs, Interpersonal Needs, well-being

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 We are not machines!

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Nope, we are not robots.

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Do you feel safe revealing any or all of your needs to someone? Think about that… because… most of us have some shame about having needs in the first place. If you didn’t know that… sure enough, it’s true. In fact, often, we need the shame to get up motivation. We too easily judge ourselves as needy and we need shame to get going. 

So on goes the mask of self-reliance in a futile attempt to protect ourselves from any anticipated rejection or disagreement and thus, we isolate and this only weakens our spirit and bolsters self-will. The strategy is self-defeating, creating disassociation from ourselves and disconnection from others. Actually, that isn’t healthy. 

Shame and guilt are painful… trust is freeing. Its a really good idea to have some compassionate people around. For example, to help get the road blocks to good mental health and meeting of needs flowing. Here is a list that puts into perspective what a healthy person may be getting and a shamed person is possibly missing.

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Basic Interpersonal Needs

Respect/Consideration
Recognition/Acknowledgment
Appreciation/Validation/Confirmation
Acceptance/Approval/Tolerance
Communication/Information/Feedback
Understanding/Clarity
Connection/Mutuality/Closeness/Intimacy
Friendship/Partnership/Companionship
Community/Affiliation/Belonging
Compassion/Empathy
Support/Nurturing/Comfort/Reassurance
Inclusion/Participation/Contribution
Cooperation/Collaboration
Choice/Autonomy/Freedom
Safety/Security/Protection
Stability/Consistency/Reliability/Predictability
Sensuality/Sexuality
Caring/Warmth/Affection/Love

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Take a break from thinking and toughing it out alone; get together with a compassionate friend, spouse, relation, etc… you aren’t a robot. We all need to express our feelings. Solving problems when we have unmet needs is very much more unlikely because we just don’t perform well under stress of unmet needs. Inadequacy in one or more of the above mentioned needs is NORMAL — absolutely normal. Develop good friendships and trusting relationships and your health and well-being will improve. I know about this… I was a needy man with a self-sufficient mask over my feelings for too many years. Thankfully, I have good friends and I am much healthier as a result.

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Thanks for visiting.

 Eric

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Need help or want to collaborate with me?
Just e-mail me at thehunt4truth@yahoo.com

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